July 16th, 2011

Road Warriors: 10 Steps For Stress Relief

You checked your calendar. In a couple days you will be two times zones away for three days. The stakes are high. You must make the sell and close the deal. You are the chosen person for the mission…orr maybe you didn’t get the “if you decide to accept it” part of the message on your voice mail! You are beginning to feel that you have a ‘virtual home life’.

The right flight, getting into the right airport, the car rental, and of course then dealing with presentation anxiety. And remember, ultimately its about closing the deal!

These are on the road stressors … then of course the pile of work when you get back to the office, more deadlines, readjusting to time zone changes and sleepless nights, chirping cell phones, late night emails, lost weekends, uncertain economy , work related deliverables, kids, traffic, relationships, guilt, roles, responsibilities, STRESS!!!

Research has identified 3 unique components for ‘air travel stress’:

  1. Anxious reactions to adverse air travel events–i.e. delays
  2. Angry reactions to other passengers
  3. Lack of trust that airlines/airports will ensure your safety and comfort

The truth is unexpected & expected challenges occur with air travel and business trips. It’s inevitable! Here are my thoughts on the keys to transform potentially harmful reactions into healthy responses for life in the BestStressZone.

Here are 10 stress-relief tips for road warriors: Pre-trip planning and delegation are key. In a separate conversation we will focus on your family. For now let’s focus on the business of the trip. Delegate components of ongoing projects for completion in your absence. Be clear and specific. Communicate ‘how and when’ you will be available. Specific deliverables and dates are critical.

  1. The trip. Get to the airport early. Expect Delays. Breathe. Invest in a membership in a onsite club at the airport of you home base. Have a folder with work that requires less focused attention. Or have great book to read. Locate the masseuse or favorite restaurant. Avoid alcohol. If you need to get work done identify where the ‘juice’ is and set up office. Mind Shift when the delay is announced. Focus on productivity. The delay can be viewed as a welcomed opportunity to complete work or even get a quick nap. Set your alarm. Power naps should be no longer than 30 minutes.
  2. Make a decision before you enter the cabin re how you want and need to spend your flight time. Avoid conversation if you need to get work done. K. Just tell that person that you cant talk. Be creative. Expect to get your coffee or water before the initial descent. Know if the car driver awaiting you will be inside the airport or at curbside. No fun not seeing your name on a sign on arrival at 11pm in an unfamiliar airport.
  3. Expect to get the rental car you didn’t want. Its Okay. Don’t leave directions to chance. Get directions/map in advance prior to your departure. I like a printed copy of directions from any of the online map services.
  4. Allow for travel fatigue & jet lag when scheduling critical meetings. Traditionally optimal functioning is based on one day per time zone when traveling east to west. Peak performance based on studies of elite athletics is around 5pm. Use this to your advantage if you are making a quick trip east to west. Your body clock naturally wants to sleep is between 3-5pm and 3-5am.
  5. If you know you are ‘special’ and your lodging must accommodate your needs–go ahead and micromanage your arrangements in advance. It’s okay and will de-stress you & all those around you.
  6. Get Physical. Ideally your accommodations will be in a safe environment for a walk. Or be sure there is a gym. Consider an early morning brisk walk, followed by oatmeal and protein bar, instead of the full “American buffet breakfast” in the morning Or if you are not a morning person, how about a walk instead of a quick drink when you return at the end of the day.
  7. Personal Alarm Clock–a MUST. Personal pictures of family—at least for me a MUST. If you can take your kids on a virtual tour of your hotel they have a great visual for your scheduled nightly call. And Make the call on time. If you business is such that you need a range…do so. If you have kids consider the value of making a scheduled morning call to check-in with your partner, kids and other household residents.
  8. Celebrate your Success or Failure in real time. Call or contact your support person in the office in real time. When you make that nightly call home be sure to tell the people you love–the people who anchor you about your day. Keeping that connection makes it easier to re-connect when you return.
  9. Return Rituals. Plan for reintegration with family and office staff. Emails and texts are often not adequate. Science suggests a day at home is ideal before return to the office after a east to west trip.

So what are your tips for business travel stress relief?

Carol J. Scott, MD, MSEd is a stress relief strategist for high achieving professionals. Author of, Optimal Stress: Living in Yiour Best Stress Zone, John Wiley, 2010, She is a speaker, stress relief coach, practicing emergency physician and health educator trained at Johns Hopkins. She hosts a weekly syndicated weekly radio show. You can join the conversation at Facebook.com/stressreliefradio.

May 24th, 2011

Infidelity: Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder

Okay enough with sorting out why Arnold cheated.

Are you enraged, overwhelmed, and unable to cope with life after discovering your partner has cheated? Perhaps you are preoccupied, there are nightmares, or  flashbacks.  At times you are emotionally numb, then at other times, just crazy. Asking yourself how and why did this happen?  Why didn’t I see or know?

According to Dennis Ortman, PhD, some marriages end with a whimper, and the coupes simply grow apart.  However, many others end with a bang. All too often, couples separate because one partner has been betrayed when the other has sought a fulfilling love elsewhere.  While the the numbers vary in the studies, some recent researchers have estimated that 37 percent of men and 20 percent of women have had sexual affairs sometime during their marriage.  More telling, 40 percent of divorced women and 44 percent of divorced men reported more than one sexual contact outside of their marriage.   These are not just impersonal numbers; they represent persons who have experienced untold pain and confusion with disrupted lives.  If you have been abandoned by a lifelong partner, you know how overwhelming and unspeakable the hurt and outrage can be.

My guest on StressReliefRadio.Com  ( Facebook.com/stressrelief.com ) Sunday May 22nd gave insight, hope and a path for stress relief and recovery for those who have suffered the trauma of a discovered affair.  Dr. Dennis Ortman is author of, Transcending Post Traumatic Infidelity Disorder, was a Catholic priest for fourteen years and has spent seventeen years as a clinical psychologist in private practice.  He shared insights and wisdom based on the intersection of psychology and spirituality.  He uses the term not to suggest a new diagnostic category but to suggest a parallel with post traumatic stress disorder which has been well document and researched.  Those who have been wounded by their partner’s infidelity obviously blame their partner but often get caught up in self-blame. Children often are damaged. Damage that is carried into their adulthood.

The conversation was enlightening. The answer is not “just get over it”.  Discover the symptoms of if YOU are suffering from Post Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD). Learn Dr. Ortman’s six steps toward healing, true forgiveness and recovery.  Most importantly understand that you can and will get back into your personal BestStress Zone.  You deserve to have love, trust, and find peace, contentment and wholeness again.

Listen to the discussion by clicking here…..

Buy the book here…..

http://www.amazon.com/Transcending-Post-infidelity-Stress-Disorder-PISD/dp/1587613344/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306164410&sr=8-1

May 16th, 2011

When Life is Precious, Death is Significant

My very first patient as an intern in internal medicine experienced a cardiac arrest at 3:06pm. It was July 1st.  A warm day.  We had unlimited work hours as an intern then.  The gentleman had a form of cancer. In his mid 80‘s he had failed 3 cycles of chemotherapy.  The room was filled with cards, balloons and non-stop visitors. He and his family were aware that it was unlikely he would survive. He had chosen to be at home for his final days.  All the IV tubing had been pulled.  With the assistance of a tech, he had been dressed and was seated in the reclining chair in the corner of his room.  The decision had been made that he would go home later that day. He was fragile.  His daughter had taken his wife home to prepare for what was thought to be his ‘final’ homecoming.  But it was not to be.

January 13th, 2011

Tuscon and America: Witnessing Extreme Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Within the span of a few days “we have witnessed unspeakable tragedy” and remarkable resilience. As an emergency medicine physician I have provided care for patients and families who experienced disasters; man-made and natural. We expect the unexpected in the ER. But not on a trip to the grocery store on a Saturday morning. Our norms and routines were violated beyond belief on Saturday. A parking lot was transformed into a theatre for warfare. Do you wonder if you could have demonstrated the heroism of Daniel Hernadez? How did you feel when you saw the first images of the tragedy unfold on TV? Can you be whole again? The answers to these questions– as is witnessing– is very personal.

CLICK HERE to read more.

January 9th, 2011

Stress Related to Man Made or Natural Disasters

On Stress Relief Radio this weekend we expressed condolences for the victims and discussed the horrific tragedy in Tuscon. We talked about stress related to man made and natural disasters.
Have you experienced stress from directly or indirectly experiencing a mass traumatic event, like 911, weather event, or the tragedy yesterday in Tuscon? Share your story? How do you cope?

You can listen to a podcast of the show on StressReliefRadio.com .

January 7th, 2011

Making New Years Resolutions Stick!

Happy New Year to you and yours! I hope this year brings you good health and fortune.

I have a new post up on FastCompany.com which explains how to approach your New Years resolutions and make them work for you, instead of casting them aside after a few weeks.

CLICK HERE to read more!